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Miro
Curva Maestrelli
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon May 03, 2010 8:36 pm

A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, "Well, how'd I do?"

The nurse says: "She had twins."

He says, "Heh, heh, heh...well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there's snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace."

She says, "Well, then you'd better change filters. Both of the babies are black."





What is the difference Between Cheryl Cole and The Icelandic Volcano ?

The Volcano is still blowing Ash.
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Done
Curva Maestrelli
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Sun May 09, 2010 7:09 pm

In the chat box during the game..

[16:08:59] Caxi : Mozart looks composed...
[16:09:04] LazioS70 : Claudio Sausage Lotito
[16:09:09] HITMAN has joined the chat on Sun May 09, 2010 4:09 pm
[16:09:11] Sile : lol Caxi
[16:09:23] Sile : Mozart looks strung
[16:09:34] Prati has been disconnected the Sun May 09, 2010 4:09 pm (session timeout)
[16:09:37] Sile : mozart is ready to play
[16:09:39] Ed : Bah
[16:09:44] Done : haha
[16:09:56] Caxi : hahahaha
[16:10:38] Sile : majestic pun Caxi, I might steal that
[16:11:00] Sile : did you see Wagner and Bach on he bench
[16:11:18] Caxi : no, they must be Haydn

Very Happy
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William-85
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon May 10, 2010 2:40 pm

A boy turns up at school with his cat peeping out his bag, his teacher is very puzzled & asks him "Tommy what is your cat doing at school today?"
Tommy answers "I heard the postman telling my mum when your kids have gone to school im gonna eat yor pussy! So I wasn't taking an chances!"
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Sile
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon May 10, 2010 2:55 pm

Kids at school were assigned a paper on the theme "There is only one Mum".

Next day, the teacher calls out several pupils to read their papers.
Lucy:"I was out playing and I fell and bruised my knee. Then my mum came and kissed my knee and put a bandage on and it was all better. There is only one Mum"
Peter: "It was Halloween and all the kids we're going out trick-or-treating but my dog tore up my costume. My mum quickly took a white sheet and with scissors and some sewing made me a scary ghost costume so I can go too. There is only one Mum"

Then the teacher calls out to a boy in the last row, let's call him Francesco. Twisted Evil

Francesco:"I was on soccer practice but the coach told me I sucked balls so he sent me home early. When I came home I heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom, and there I saw the postman jumping on my mother without the clothes on. My mother looked at me and said "What are you looking at you little bastard go to the fridge and bring us 2 beers" so I went but when I opened the fridge I yelled :There is only one Mum!!!"

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pazke
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon May 10, 2010 5:01 pm

Somewhere on the Roman outskirts, on a large building site, some Riommanista worker goes to his boss to complain.

'Boss boss, I can't work like this, my wheelbarrow goes like ... squeechhh........squeechhh........squeechhh........
squeechhh........squeechhh........I cant work under this condition!'

The boss replies :'What ?!? ... You are fired, you dirty little fckr... go home !'

The Riommanista : 'What ?!? Fired?!? Why?!?'

The Boss : 'Normally the wheelbarrow goes squeech-squeech-squeech-squeech-squeech-squeech.'
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Caxi
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 5:14 pm

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

Really hope some of you get that joke and that I don't have to explain it...

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Sile
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 6:11 pm

I may be tempted to tell that joke to the first Irishman I see Caxi. I'll be sending you my hospital bill.

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Roman_Eagle
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 7:33 pm

Caxi wrote:
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

Really hope some of you get that joke and that I don't have to explain it...

ok explain :)
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Sile
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 7:52 pm

Roman_Eagle wrote:
Caxi wrote:
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

Really hope some of you get that joke and that I don't have to explain it...

ok explain :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Famine_(Ireland)

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"One love, One Lazio SUPER TECH!!!" - mr douglas

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Roman_Eagle
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 9:40 pm

now I see :) thanks :)
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William-85
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu May 13, 2010 10:48 pm

LOL
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hamidsinisa
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:46 pm



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Sile
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:50 pm


_________________
"One love, One Lazio SUPER TECH!!!" - mr douglas

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hamidsinisa
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:21 am

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Rizmo
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:30 pm

An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too..'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much'

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot made his own lunch.'
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Il Capitano
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:47 pm

All of Sile's jokes suck. Just wanted to add that note. Very Happy

A guy and a girl meet in a disco and talk for half an hour. Then the guy says: "Well, we are talking for half an hour now and I don't know your name, so how are you called?" The girl says: "My name is Sandra, but call me Carmen, because everybody does." "But why Carmen if your name is Sandra," the guy asks. "Well, it's because those are the two most important and best things for me in my life. Car, because I like to drive so much, and men, because I just love them. But hey, what's your name again?" "Well, just call me beerpussy!"
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Sile
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 6:35 pm

Here's one for you, you douche


A little kid is sitting in Michael Jackson's lap. Michael turns to him and says: "You have a great talent in you".

_________________
"One love, One Lazio SUPER TECH!!!" - mr douglas

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Il Capitano
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:20 pm

Nice one! tongue

I got one more just for you:

A guy and a 9-year old girl go into the forest late at night. It's very dark and you can already hear the owls. Says the girl: "I'm afraid, I'm afraid. It's late, dark and cold!" And the guy replies: "What should I say then? I need to go back home by myself!"
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Jofo
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:30 pm

Whats green and has wheels?
- Grass!!!! (I lied about the wheels) Very Happy

What does cancer in policeman brain?
-Dying out of hunger!


What does epileptic in a discotheque?
-Foam party pirat

Where is more populated Ethiopia, on the north or south?
- It depends on the wind course.

One man goes to Brothel and asks for the cheapest whore. The pimp sends him to room number 4.
When the man got out the Pimp ask him: So sir how did you go?
- Well it was nice but something white started to come out of her mouth.
On that Pimp said to few boys: Please change the corpse in room 4, its filled.

Some kid went to steal the cross from some church. The priest saw him and yelled "STOP". The kid just jumped off the window and get away. So the priest started to practice how to jump off a window and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running and get away. So the priest started to practice running and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest but the kid climbed on tree. So the priest started to practice how to climb a tree and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest, the kid climbed on tree but so does the priest. Then the kid jumped in the river and starts swimming and get away. So the priest started to practice how to swim and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest, the kid climbed on tree but so does the priest. Then the kid jumped in the river and starts swimming and the priest jumps in the river and starts swimming. When getting out of the river the priest finnaly manage to catch the kid.
Now tell me why you steal the cross? -asked the priest.
Promise not to tell anyone? -replied the kid.
Promise!!! -yelled the priest.

*and the priest didn't tell to anyone*
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Rizmo
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:52 pm

Jofo wrote:
Whats green and has wheels?
- Grass!!!! (I lied about the wheels) Very Happy

What does cancer in policeman brain?
-Dying out of hunger!


What does epileptic in a discotheque?
-Foam party pirat

Where is more populated Ethiopia, on the north or south?
- It depends on the wind course.

One man goes to Brothel and asks for the cheapest whore. The pimp sends him to room number 4.
When the man got out the Pimp ask him: So sir how did you go?
- Well it was nice but something white started to come out of her mouth.
On that Pimp said to few boys: Please change the corpse in room 4, its filled.

Some kid went to steal the cross from some church. The priest saw him and yelled "STOP". The kid just jumped off the window and get away. So the priest started to practice how to jump off a window and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running and get away. So the priest started to practice running and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest but the kid climbed on tree. So the priest started to practice how to climb a tree and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest, the kid climbed on tree but so does the priest. Then the kid jumped in the river and starts swimming and get away. So the priest started to practice how to swim and learnt at the end.
The next day the kid steals the cross again, the priest yelled "stop" and the kid jumped off the window again but so does the priest. Then the kid start running but so does the priest, the kid climbed on tree but so does the priest. Then the kid jumped in the river and starts swimming and the priest jumps in the river and starts swimming. When getting out of the river the priest finnaly manage to catch the kid.
Now tell me why you steal the cross? -asked the priest.
Promise not to tell anyone? -replied the kid.
Promise!!! -yelled the priest.

*and the priest didn't tell to anyone*

This must be the lamest post in LF history.. Sleep
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William-85
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:59 pm

How do you make water into holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!

Stupid jokes... I fuckin love them. Very Happy
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Caxi
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:02 pm

One of my mate's has a joke specifically for drunks:

What's the difference between a duck?
One of both its legs are the same.

Clearly not funny, but watching drunks trying to understand it or laugh along for the sake of it is somewhat priceless...

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[url]http://lazio.theoffside.com
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Jofo
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:50 pm

Rizmo wrote:

This must be the lamest post in LF history.. Sleep

Your stupid.
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martinese
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:16 am

Jofo wrote:
Whats green and has wheels?
- Grass!!!! (I lied about the wheels) Very Happy

This "joke" reminds me of a bulgarian who was so "funny" - Kaci Vapcarov (Къци Въпцаров). The bulgarian members know him very well and know what I'm talking about Very Happy
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LazioS70
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Thu Jul 22, 2010 12:20 am

Lazio will win the Scudetto 2010/2011
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PostSubject: Re: Awesome joke thread   Today at 9:04 am

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